by Amanda Louise Lay

ACT ONE

(Two women (45+) each sitting in front of a small easel. They are at a life model drawing class. They have a small esky between them as well as paints, brushes etc. The male model is the audience. ALLY is staring at the male model/audience, clearly enjoying herself. MEREDITH is staring at her canvas and looking anywhere but at the male model.)

ALLY: Are you almost finished?

MEREDITH: Not really.

ALLY: What’s wrong? Is it his hands? I always struggle with hands. Which is why, this time, I decided not to bother and concentrate on his other … bits…

MEREDITH: (not really listening.) No. It’s…

ALLY: Show me. Promise, I won’t laugh. (ALLY gets up and walks over for a look, she is surprised by what she sees.) Two hours of life drawing class and you’ve drawn a chair…

MEREDITH: So… 

ALLY: He’s not sitting on a chair. He’s stretched out on a chaise lounge…

MEREDITH: I… Ummm. I like chairs.

ALLY: What’s the problem?

(ALLY returns to her chair and holds up her thumb to check proportions, picks up a ruler and tries again, nods approvingly.)

MEREDITH: Nothing.

ALLY: Clearly there’s a problem… You’ve drawn a chair…

MEREDITH: I’m building up to it…

ALLY: What’s next? A table. A door. 

MEREDITH: …It’s no good. I can’t draw… him. He’s…

ALLY: Hot…

MEREDITH: No…

ALLY: Gorgeous. 

MEREDITH: Keep your voice down. He’ll hear you.

ALLY: I’m sure he’s heard it before. Besides, he’s wearing earbuds. See…

(ALLY points. Without meaning to, MEREDITH looks, grimaces, and looks away.)

ALLY: He can’t hear us… I’ll wave and get his attention?

(MEREDITH pulls her arm down.)

MEREDITH: Don’t do that…

ALLY: Why? 

MEREDITH: He’s… (whispers.) Naked.

ALLY: Of course he’s naked. It’s a life drawing class. That’s the whole point. You didn’t have a problem last week. 

MEREDITH: I don’t feel comfortable… Staring at… 

ALLY: I never took you for a prude. It’s a naked body, perfectly natural. 

MEREDITH: I’m not a prude…

ALLY: You must have seen one before. You’ve been married forever. Surely Alex has accidentally dropped a towel in the bathroom?

MEREDITH: I’ve seen my fair share. 

ALLY: How many? 

MEREDITH: (lowers voice.) I’m not answering that…

ALLY: One. Two… A dozen…

MEREDITH: (does the maths on her fingers.) Seven.

ALLY: Seven!!

MEREDITH: Shhh… Keep your voice down… 

ALLY: No one’s listening… (whispers loudly.) When did you see seven?

MEREDITH: Is that a lot…

ALLY: No. It’s… average. I’ve seen a few… more. I’m… I’m surprised. Seven! You’ve been with Alex for years… When did you see the other six?

MEREDITH: Seven plus Alex. That makes it eight.

ALLY: When did this happen? 

MEREDITH: Remember when Alex and I had that break after uni?

ALLY: Sort of. I do remember he wasn’t at the flat as much… 

MEREDITH: He kissed that tart Lucy at work. 

ALLY: I thought you were only broken up for a few days.

MEREDITH: Six weeks and four days.

ALLY: That’s like one a week… No wait. That’s more than one a week. 

(MEREDITH nods, a dreamy look on her face.)

ALLY: Wow, you didn’t mess around… (beat.) So, what’s the problem today? 

MEREDITH: I’ve seen enough and nowadays I prefer to draw… chairs.

ALLY: Have you even looked? You are seriously missing out. That is one gorgeous-looking man. We’re talking movie-star looks, chiselled jaw, flat stomach, lots of muscles and a decent sized…

MEREDITH: …I can’t explain. It’s hard…

ALLY: No, it’s not…

MEREDITH: It is for me…

ALLY: It’s not hard at all. It looks quite soft, nestled against his thigh…

MEREDITH: Ally! You know that’s not what I meant…

ALLY: All you have to do is draw what you’re looking at…

MEREDITH: But… But he’s naked. Totally naked.

ALLY: Like the day he was born…

MEREDITH: (MEREDITH is horrified.) Couldn’t he drape a towel or something over his… (MEREDITH refers to a generalised area around her lower half.)

ALLY: It’s a life drawing class. The models are supposed to be naked.

MEREDITH: I wasn’t expecting…

ALLY: He’d be naked?

MEREDITH: No. It’s hard… difficult for me…

ALLY: You should ask Sophia for help…

(ALLY puts up her hand. MEREDITH tries to stop her.)

MEREDITH I don’t need help…

ALLY Yes you do. 

MEREDITH Not from her…

ALLY Why? She’s the teacher. It’s her job.

MEREDITH She makes everything… Sound… (SOPHIA enters. She is reading a how to draw book which she quickly hides when ALLY waves at her.) Sophia. Hi. It’s all good. I’m fine. 

(SOPHIA, flamboyantly dressed, glasses on her head, paint brushes tucked into a messy ponytail/bun, big chunky earrings.)

SOPHIA: Ally darling, how can I help?

ALLY: Meredith is finding it HARD to look at naked bodies.

MEREDITH: That’s not what I said. I don’t mind looking at naked bodies…

(SOPHIA is surprised by MEREDITH’s picture.)

SOPHIA: It’s a very good picture of a chair but, darling, today is not about chairs. Today is about the human body. The man sitting in front of you is full of life, vigour, and vitality. You must drink in his form and commit his shape to the canvas. I want to see strong firm strokes, up and down. Sketch every curve and sinew, let the lines of his body flow across your canvas … Revel in his youth…

MEREDITH: I don’t think I can do that… (MEREDITH is uncomfortable about the idea.)

SOPHIA: Darling, you must stop thinking of him as a person. Think of him as an object, a still life. A bowl of fruit, an apple…

ALLY: A banana and some plums…

SOPHIA: Bravo, Ally. That is exactly what he is. He is your subject, your focus for your drawing, nothing more…  

MEREDITH: Thanks Sophia, that’s really helpful… I’ll give it a go.

SOPHIA: Excellent.

(SOPHIA floats off, reading her book.)

ALLY: Ready to tackle his… Tackle…

(MEREDITH picks up a pencil and quickly draws something. ALLY is pouring wine for them both. She watches MEREDITH draw.)

ALLY: You didn’t even look.

MEREDITH: Yes I did.

ALLY: Want to see mine? 

(MEREDITH shakes her head. ALLY ignores her and puts her canvas on top of Meredith’s.)

ALLY: I decided not to bother drawing his hands. Can never get them right. (beat.) What do you think? (MEREDITH gasps. ALLY turns it sideways for MEREDITH to see.) You’re right. I should have used a bigger canvas…

MEREDITH: All you’ve drawn is his…

ALLY: Banana and plums…

MEREDITH: He’s young enough to be your son… 

ALLY: Nothing wrong with admiring his attributes… 

MEREDITH: It’s wrong…

(MEREDITH puts ALLY’s canvas back on her easel.)

ALLY: Why? Men have been doing it to women for years. Consider it payback…

MEREDITH: That doesn’t make it right. He’s a human being and you’ve reduced him to…

ALLY: Gorgeous naked flesh… (beat.) Remember what Sophia said. He’s our subject to draw. We have to commit his form to the canvas with firm strokes, up and down and in and out in rapid succession…  

(SOPHIA walks back on.)

SOPHIA: Meredith, darling, have you conquered your fear of the naked body?

MEREDITH: I’m not frightened of nudity… I’ve seen my fair share of naked bodies. 

ALLY: Seven.

MEREDITH: Eight.

ALLY: She kept count.

(SOPHIA leans in for a look. She stands back and puts on her glasses and looks again.)

SOPHIA: You’ve drawn an impressive… column…

ALLY: She has. Show me… (ALLY jumps up and walks around to look.) Oh. You were being literal. (to MEREDITH.) You’ve drawn the column behind him.

SOPHIA: Meredith, hand me your brush.

MEREDITH: It’s okay. I’m happy with my picture.

(SOPHIA wrestles the paintbrush off MEREDITH and starts to apply herself to the canvas.)

SOPHIA: You take control of the brush. You want firm, even strokes to bring him to life. You need to put passion into your art. Do you understand?

ALLY: Ooh, yes. Sophia. I love it. Wow, a few strokes and there he is smack bang in the middle of the canvas… (ALLY holds up her ruler to compare sizes of the model to the drawing.) You even got his proportions spot on.

(SOPHIA stands back and admires her work.)

SOPHIA: (to MEREDITH) Meredith, see how quickly I place him on your canvas. Don’t worry about precision. This is about emotion. Passion. Desire. I want you to capture the feeling of what you are looking at…

(ALLY leans over for a look. MEREDITH is in shock.)

ALLY: You have to admit Meredith, that’s an impressive looking…

MEREDITH: …Thank you Sophia for your help. 

SOPHIA: You are very welcome. (beat.) Ally. I would love to see your work.

ALLY: Ta da.

(ALLY angles her canvas for SOPHIA to see. The teacher stands back and has a look. She takes her glasses off and has another look. MEREDITH opens the small esky and brings out a bottle of wine and fills two glasses.)

SOPHIA: Magnificent, Ally. Your best work. The detail is incredible. You have captured the very essence of masculinity… (beat.) Tell me. What drew you to that part of the body?  

ALLY: What can I say? I like…

(MEREDITH has filled a large glass of wine and holds it out to ALLY, cutting her off.)

MEREDITH: (MEREDITH is drinking from the wine bottle.) Wine!!!

ALLY: I like to draw one part of the human body, really focus on it, study it in detail. I like to get a feel for it before moving on to the next part…

SOPHIA: I can see that in every stroke. You have mastered the subject matter… It is magnificent.

(MEREDITH is on her feet, packing up.)

MEREDITH: That’s it. I’ve had enough. I can’t do this. (to the audience/male model.) I don’t care how much this is paying, David, but you have to find another way to earn money. Get dressed. I’ll see you at home. Not a word to your dad. (MEREDITH grabs her canvas, changes her mind, puts it down, grabs her bag and exits. She returns a moment later.) Your dinner’s in the oven…

(MEREDITH exits. ALLY watches her, then looks at the audience/male model.)

ALLY: David? (gasps.) I didn’t recognise you. You were five the last time I saw you… You’ve gotten so big… (realises what she has said.) Meredith! Wait! I’m sorry… (ALLY runs off, then comes back for the canvas. To DAVID/audience.) Don’t judge. Sophia said it’s my best work.

THE END

In 2018, Amanda Lay enrolled in a theatre acting class. The students were tasked with finding monologues and duologues to suit their age range. Amanda counted five other middle-aged women in the room. Unhappy with the choices (Lady Bracknell was taken), Amanda decided to write her own. Yolanda, a sports teacher forced to give a talk on sex education, was born, and the audience loved her. Surprised by the reception, Amanda wrote a few duologues and has been lucky to have several performed in Short + Sweet Sydney and Short + Sweet Hollywood, plus numerous other play festivals in Wagga Wagga, Shepparton, Beaumaris, Brisbane, and even Vermont, USA.